Dear So and So

Dear Neighbor Child,

Really? You could stop bringing your 'kick me' dog over to my fence any time now! My dogs would really love to eat your puppy and next time I may just let them. Your little 'kick me' dog is no match for the hounds that live here. Seriously, they kill shit daily.

Not wanting your puppy to be lunch,
Your neighbor

_______________________________________________________

Dear Neighbor Child's Mother,

I do appreciate your attempts to wrangle your child and puppy away from my fence when all hell breaks loose. Could you possibly say it like you mean it next time though?! ""Child" get away from there." isn't really working, if you haven't noticed.

About to have some words with you,
Your Neighbor

_______________________________________________________

Dear Channel, (misspelled on purpose)

Please, please, pleaseeeeeeee bring back my favorite long wear lip color!!!! I only have one tube left and so help me I am savoring every last ounce of it! I cannot live without it and no, a similar color will not do! It seriously stays on forever and ever. Eating, drinking, fucking, sleeping, EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!

Begging and fucking pleading here,
Loyal Customer

_______________________________________________________


Dear bitches in this house,

I cannot wait to have you all spayed. Seriously, all of you in season at the same time? Are you trying to kill me and the boys? Funny...

Off to self medicate,
Your devoted servant

_______________________________________________________

Dear ohmygahwtfdoyouwantdipshit,

Seriously, enough.

Sincerely pissed off,
thepersontryingtohelpyourass

________________________________________________________

Now go on over to Kat's for some more fabulous Dear So and So action!!!